I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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