I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I looked at my own cervix.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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