I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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