every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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