you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
