if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
