just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
