I hate your face
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
