is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
