ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
