obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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