Someone shit on the floor
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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