We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
