i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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