Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
