I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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