I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She's the barista slut.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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