Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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