I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
