i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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