Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
