I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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