I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize
