I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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