one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
smell my finger.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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