Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
