The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
