fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
