my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
