my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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