and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
