If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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