You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
