THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
