went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He did a backflip because drugs
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