We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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