I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
