I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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