Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
