so explain again why im purple
no
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
