Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
