My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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