I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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