Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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