dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
