3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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