I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
