it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
and you fell through a lawn chair
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
