If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
