I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just cut my nipple shaving
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
