weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
