you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
